Love in Times of Tinder

Everything you need to know about love, sex, technology and relationships

Here is why we use Tinder

Tinder is what we nowadays call a mobile dating application. Yet, Tinder has received a lot of criticism and is often referred to as a hookup application. If we are to believe College Humor’s Modern Fairy Tale, Tinderella gave up on true love a long time ago and is busy swiping in the hopes for a one night stand. In 2015, a public Twitter war exploded between Vanity Fair and Tinder, after journalist Nancy Jo Sales published an article in which she declared Tinder to be contributing to the dating apocalypse. Such views are not restricted to the United States, as Channel 4 also broadcasted a documentary on Tinder use in the UK, in which they interviewed a man who claimed to have slept with over a hundred women since he started swiping.

It is not the first time we accuse technology of changing our sexual behaviors. Nearly a century ago, it were the automobile and the entertainment industry that helped young adults getting rid of courtship practices and introduced the concept of dating. Whereas the automobile provided young adults the opportunity to get away from their parents’ severe supervision, the entertainment industry gave them cheap forms of romance. Since then, men were supposed to ask women out on a date and treat them in exchange for a sexual favor, such as a kiss. Back then, older adults and researchers also perceived this intimate behavior as a threat to their sexual norms and values.

This made me wonder: are we in a similar situation now? Are these new technological developments offering us more sexual freedom?

THE BIG TINDER PROJECT

To find out, I started the Big Tinder Project in 2015. Just over 3000 Tinder users already participated in this project. In collaboration with Elien de Caluwé, I developed the Tinder Motives Scale (TMS) based on four independent studies. For Study 1 we interviewed 18 college students at a large midwestern university in the United States about their Tinder use, motives, and experiences. Study 2, 3, and 4 were quantitative surveys conducted in the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium. Based on Study 1, we found 8 Tinder motives. In Study 2, which included an open question about reasons to use Tinder, we discovered 5 additional reasons to use this application. Study 3 was designed to finalize our scale, which consists of 58 items used to assess 13 Tinder motives. The final version of our Tinder Motives Scale was validated in Study 4.

13 TINDER MOTIVES

We found 13 motives to use Tinder. The most commonly cited reason is using Tinder as an entertainment tool when wanting to pass time. Imagine you are waiting for the train or a bus which is – again – too late. You already checked your Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram newsfeed. Seems like there is nothing left for you to do but swipe your boredom away and talk to your matches.

Many people also admitted using Tinder out of curiosity. They wondered what all the fuss was about. Some of them dare to stick around, but some clearly do not have any clue!  

Then there is also this group of people that perceive Tinder as the ideal tool to befriend strangers. The Tinder crew must have figured this out themselves, as they launched Tinder Social last summer. Although some people might dislike the fact that Tinder’s algorithm is mainly based on being selective on appearances, the good thing is that the app does not filter on socio-economic background. In this way, Tinder brings together people that would otherwise not have had the chance to meet.

The fourth motive is – against all expectations (!) – the quest for love. It seems that a decent amount of people dare to admit that they use the application for dating purposes and to find a romantic partner.

Importantly, Tinder also serves as an “ego-booster”. Those who want to know more about their values on the dating market just swipe to see whether they are hot or not. Beware, because these people do not necessarily feel the need to actually meet someone. Worried why your hot match is not responding? Probably just boosting his or her ego!

why-are-we-using-tinder

© Elisabeth Timmermans

For many students, Tinder serves as the ideal distraction during exam periods. To quote one respondent: “I would rather talk to a stranger to distract myself than to distract my friends as well.” Employees also admitted using the app during breaks. Always wondered what that one colleague is doing on his or her phone all the time? Chances are high he or she is just swiping.

Several respondents also mentioned Tinder comes in handy when wanting to improve flirting and social skills. They feel like the application provides a safer environment for initiating the first contact, as these interactions usually happen online. The large pool of potential matches gives them the opportunity to play around with crazy opening sentences.

For those who just came out of the closet, Tinder is the ideal tool to meet people with a similar sexual orientation. Whereas homosexuals also use apps like Grindr, they refer to Tinder as a way to find a serious relationship.

Of course, there are also these people who actually never wanted to use the application, but they were unfortunately enough to have a friend who created a Tinder profile for them. Remember that friend that is always complaining about his or her ex? Bet you already pressured that person into using an app like Tinder!

For the travellers among us, Tinder is the perfect way to communicate with locals, to meet them or simply ask them questions about best places to go to (who still wants to pay for a guide these days?). Yes, you got that right: Tinder is the new Tripadvisor!

And then, finally, being number 11 out of 13, a rather small number of people admit to use the application to increase their sexual experience. Interestingly, there was a significant difference between men and women. Either men are using the application more to increase their sexual experience OR they are more likely to admit that this is what they are using Tinder for.

A minority of Tinder users admit being mainly active on the application to forget about their ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Finally, the last and least occurring motive to use Tinder is because it feels like everyone is using Tinder these days.

ARE WE HAVING MORE SEX BECAUSE OF TINDER?

This brings us back to our initial question: are we having more sex because of Tinder? Certainly not. At least that’s what the data from Study 3 and 4 imply. Yet, it is important to note that these four studies are only the first step when wanting to unravel the association between Tinder use and hooking up behavior. Reported motives are not always congruent with actual behavior. It could be that using Tinder leads to having more sexual experience, despite sexual experience not being the main motive to use the app. It is also plausible that Tinder users do not dare to admit they are using Tinder for sexual purposes out of fear of being judged by others. More research is needed to formulate a clear answer to this research question. Are you eager to read more? Make sure to follow this blog, I will be posting more Tinder related articles in the upcoming weeks!

P.S.: Did you already take the international Tinder quiz? It’s available in 12 different languages and helps you to discover which Tinder user you are. Take the international Tinder quiz now!

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